My Story....Part 2

Last week I started to tell you how I got to where I am today. If you haven't read it you can find the first part here. To continue...

We got married! My dress fit, thanks to a seamstress in my dad's congregation. Lord knows she must have thought I was expecting! So we began our life together. We both worked at local grocery stores, and we would bring home the sale papers and confer, "this is cheaper there so you buy that. I'll get this though.." We worked. For me it was 60+ hours a week. We ate. I already knew how to cook when I got married. No learning here. My mother was determined that I would not have the same problem she did. She didn't know how to cook when she married Dad so they lived on boiled potatoes and eggs for a while. I made my first meal when I was 10 years old. Baked chicken, Rice-a-Roni and green beans. So as a new bride I could cook, and we ate! Not to mention we lived almost next door to at least three fast food restaurants. Our normal routine was pretty much eat, sleep, work. 

And so, we grew. This picture was about six months after we got married. I don't know what the photographer was thinking posing us all sprawled on the floor. The first three years of our marriage was a blur of junk food and work. I started having IBS symptoms a couple of years after we married. Mild stomach bouts on a somewhat regular basis. Then we decided it was time for babies. Well, I finally convinced him it was time for babies. He is much more sensible than I am. He looks at the whole picture where I just want to run after what I want. This is why God put us together. I needed someone to hold my apron strings so I wouldn't run off a cliff. I quit working to be a homemaker and concentrate on baby growing. By the time we conceived our first child I weighed 225 pounds. Keep in mind I am only 5 feet, 2 inches tall....

Here I am about 7 months into my first pregnancy. Eating as usual. It's the only type of pregnancy pictures I took. Surprise ones. I was not about to document that belly! I had perfect strangers stopping me and asking how many babies I was having. My doctor was saying my baby was going to be huge because I was "measuring big". I could not get these people to understand they were measuring fat too. Not just baby. I had incredibly normal, easy pregnancies and deliveries. With my weight that was a miracle. Another odd development during my pregnancies? My IBS went away. Completely. Both times...

In this picture, our son was almost 2 years old, and I was still 225 pounds. People try to let me off easy by saying, "oh you've had kids..." My babies did not put that weight on me. My fork did! As a matter of fact, I was back to pre-pregnancy weight by my six week check up! Unfortunately my pre-pregnancy weight was a lot. When I conceived our second child I was 12 pounds lighter than the first time because I had started changing my diet to try and control the IBS symptoms, but when I gave in to my first pregnancy craving and realized the IBS seemed to be gone again? All bets were off. My second child was delivered two weeks before Easter. The number of Cadbury Creme Eggs I put away during that time is shocking. The fact that I never developed gestational diabetes is even more shocking. 

My youngest child is nearly five years old now. Somewhere in her first year of life the doctor informed my husband he'd better do something about his weight. We determined we'd do it together, for the kids. We have to teach them how to live and be healthy. He took up running and hasn't stopped since. I am so proud of what he has accomplished, but he left me in his dust. I have clawed and scraped and crawled my way to a 60 pound weight loss. Part of it was loss of motivation when I got sick with swine flu and again when I had my gallbladder out. Part of it was rebelling against restricting myself. The rest was just plain old hard! When I first started this blog my husband was already done. He had lost his 100 pounds and run his first half marathon. 

This is us a couple of years ago. I did the "1 mile fun run" with our son. At the end I said I was proud of him AND I was proud of myself because I had kept up with him. He informed me that he didn't run as fast as he could so that I would be able to keep up. Thanks kid.....

I named this blog "Eat Your Vegetables" because when I began this journey I sincerely believed that if I just ate right and exercised I'd lose weight. Calories in, calories out. It's a black and white concept and it worked for my husband. I tried. And I tried. And I tried some more. Nothing happened. I ate 1200 calories a day (which really never left me feeling hungry). I exercised. Hard. Nothing. I mixed up my routine. I drank smoothies. Finally, defeated and frustrated, I went to my doctor for a checkup. At the very end of the appointment I blurted out my whole problem. She looked a little taken aback. She asked if I was "really" trying. I said YES, and showed her my food log on my phone. She suggested that I try low carb. Seeing as how I was addicted to sugar her theory was that I'd developed insulin resistance. I took that and ran with it. 

Low carb?! But I should be able to eat a balanced diet and lose weight! But my body is broken. I have to fix it. So low carb. I lost 12 pounds in the first 2 weeks. To me that meant the doctor must be right. Then I got sick. I had the worst IBS symptoms I have ever had in my life! 

So here I was. Some answers and even more questions. I did more research than I ever did in school. I came across some naturopathic methods of "healing" my damaged digestion. I took all my research and theories and brought them to a natural health specialist (who I will not name because I haven't asked permission). They assured me that I am, in fact, NOT crazy and I am on the right track. 

I started off with the intention of losing weight to be more healthy. This journey has never been about what I see in the mirror, but about caring for and repairing the damage I've done to the ONE body I get. I don't get to trade it in later. God gave me one. That's it. Slowly but surely my journey has morphed into something completely different. I STILL have at least 30 pounds to lose before my weight will be what is deemed the highest acceptable normal weight for my frame. I am highly impatient about getting that weight off, but I've learned that to do that is not going to be as black and white as it is for others. My body is damaged in some way, and until I figure out what it is, and work to heal it, that fat is going to stay firmly in place. Do I like it? No, but it's my reality right now. The road has forked and I've prayerfully considered which to take. I feel I've chosen wisely. Only time will tell.