I have just recently spent a week giving my mom a much needed break. About a year ago (when mom remarried) she and her new love bought a beautiful house and acreage. They plan to have a farming venture, but as of now it's a rather large homestead. They've been working hard clearing places for pasture here and planting the world's largest kitchen garden there.
So I get a call one day asking me to house/animal sit so they can turn a business trip into a mini vacation/1st anniversary trip. Excuse me? Go stay in the pretty 100+ year old house and tend some cute animals? Don't mind if I do!!!
Here's the animal count thus far on "Good-O" Farm: 2 cats, 2 goats, 9 chickens and their 2 dogs plus my one makes 3 of the canine variety. Not really all that much to care for. Perfect to give this bayou girl a taste of what she hopes will one day be her life! Yay!
So I pack my truck full of my one dog, two kids and one infant foster child (along with all the things they require) and we're off to play on the farm! The farm is too far away for my big, strapping, extremely helpful husband to be able to come and help. He's got to be able to get to and from work. But that's okay. I mean sure with a baby it can be pretty tiring but how hard can it be? This is the part where my mother starts laughing maniacally.
We are on our 4th week of school with the new curriculum and loving it. I'm not about to lose steam now. So that means school comes to the farm too. All of it. Did I mention we're using a literature based curriculum this year? "Literature based" is exactly what it sounds like. Books galore. I have one suitcase that's just books. Just. Books. 
We leave my daughter's dance class and get to the farm just in time to feed and lock up the animals before dark. Mom left instructions. Pop suggests I wash and wax the John Deere. He's funny, that guy.
The chickens go to the coop all by themselves around dark so I just have to get the goats fed and into their enclosure where they'll be safe from the wild animals. I'd hate to have a T-Rex nom my parents' goats. The goats are brush clearing goats so they're set up in a portable pen that consists of a large outer area where they're roaming and eating whatever strikes their goat fancy and a smaller inner area that's more secure where they bed down at night. Four text messages and a phone call later, I have finally figured out how to get INTO the goat enclosure. Now to outwit them and get them bedded down. This takes more time than I'm comfortable admitting.....I go inside and spend half the night shushing excited children and dogs.
And the evening and the morning were the first day.
I get up early the next morning because my mother's enormous hound mix has her sloppy hound lips on me. She wants out. Why I don't know because she AND her tiny dachshund mix housemate have relieved themselves all over the hundred year old wood floors. Fabulous. I let them out, clean the mess and start the day.
After school we are out and about with the dogs (mine on leash because he thinks chickens taste like, well, chicken) when I see goats bounding and playing freely OUTSIDE their enclosure. This is not good. I start "herding" the goats back toward the fence. They start butting the dogs who, of course, must give chase. 
The hound mix who, again, is huge (at least 80 pounds) tries to dodge the goat. She slams into my knee and pops the knee cap out. I go down and concentrate on not screaming because children. I assess the damage and realize the knee cap is back where it should be so, while I'll be in pain for a while there's no need for a doctor. Meanwhile my son, who is smarter than me because he's home educated, has taken the "work smarter, not harder" approach. He remembers the goats love pecan leaves so he gets a large stick full of them and lures the animals peacefully and quietly back to the safety of their enclosure. I am proud of his quick thinking and chagrined that I didn't think of it first. To this day I have no clue how those goats escaped.
The evening and the morning were the second day.
I started separating the dogs at night so I can sleep. Only took me one whole sleepless night of chasing dogs with a broom to think of it.
This day, though, day three? This is the day I wanted to laugh and cry all at once because the level of shenanigans is absolutely absurd.
So now I have a bum knee, in a stiff brace, in a century old house. My bed is upstairs. I could sleep downstairs, but alll the children are upstairs. Including the baby. Up and down I go. Steep, tiny stairs. I go to take a shower. This house was built before bathrooms. At some point the previous owners decided to bring it into the modern age by adding a bathroom/laundry room/why is the hot water heater right there?
There is no tub. There is a minuscule shower stall that, if I were 6 pounds heavier I might have to wash half of me at a time. It reminds me of the showers I used when we owned a camper as a kid. There is no way possible to shave your legs in this shower. My mom does hers at the sink. Bum knee = hairy legs. Guess I'm wearing jeans.
I'm ready to take the kids out to one of the little country stores. I have the spare key my mother left me in my hand when I shut the door . At some point between then and when I got to my vehicle, the key magically vanishes. This house eats things. I'm also missing a DVD player remote and 2.5 socks. 
We return from the store with nothing we need but some nice treats. I also had to purchase more pacifiers for the baby. The house didn't eat them but the dogs did. Three in as many days.
And the evening and the morning were the third day.
By day four, I wake up thinking what else could possibly happen?! Then my dog nearly eats a chicken. I hear panicked clucking and turn around to see that one of the old girls got just a little too close. I command the dog to release. Miraculously, he does. The chicken is indignant and missing a snoutful of feathers but otherwise okay. She lives to lay another day. 
I learned a lot about working a homestead this week. Even though I only did half the stuff my mom does day to day. I learned I want no dog bigger than me. I learned I could take or leave having goats. I learned I want a tub in my house...and I DON'T want stairs.
I learned precisely when the fireflies come out to play. I learned that hands on work brings my children satisfaction and joy. 
And I learned I'm yearning for a simpler life even more than I realized. One day, in God's time, in His way we will have our little homestead. And I still won't wash and wax the John Deere.....
