Last week I wrote about God's provision for my family in a tight spot. If you missed it you can read it here. This week I will illustrate for you how easily we forget....
Just a few days after our Hallelujah...we're gonna eat some venison....moment, we were hit with a couple of little financial things. One is just plain old life. The other was completely unexpected and something that we're still not sure we're going to have to pay. Getting notified of these people wanting money, however, made me mad. Oh was I EVER mad! I am not easily angered and I'm not easily stressed out, but for some reason I really let this get to me. Ranting on and on about the injustice of it all and how we'll probably have to pay what they're asking and WHERE am I going to get the money for that now?! My poor husband was the recipient of quite a few text messages that day.
In addition to my anger (looking back now the level of mad was waaaay higher than it should have been) old habits crept up and bit me in the rear. All Monday morning all I did was eat...because somewhere in my twisted brain that makes life all better....I ate an entire cup of fudge swirl ice cream AND a cupcake before I left the house to run errands. It's a good thing I left because Lord knows what else I would have found to stuff in my face! This is what happens when I'm feeling..well most any strong emotion. "I'm so sad!...Let's eat!...I'm so mad!...Let's eat!....I don't know what I'm going to do!....Except eat!" I don't know where this comes from, but I have done my best to run away from the kitchen every time I feel this way. This time...I did not succeed.
As I was in the waiting room of my kids' dentist office I was stewing over that thing that I was so mad about. God very nearly hit me over the head and said, "excuse me...have you so quickly forgotten what I am capable of? I'm big enough to give you a little food, but I'm not big enough for this little problem too?" Needless to say, I was sufficiently chastised. I prayed and repented and handed it over to the Lord. But, you know, you can't just pray about it and then continue to stew about it. That's not "trusting it to God." That's pretty much just like a child showing his mother a cut, then when she says "let me put some medicine on it" he snatches it back and says "no, it'll hurt! I just wanted you to see it and know about it but I don't trust you to make it better!" So I changed my attitude. I started thinking about things that could possibly come out of my situation that could be positive, and surprisingly enough I thought of a couple! Then I decided I'd put it away and just be. I have kids to take care of and pray they have no cavities! I have better things to do than think on that all day. Also, my husband is the one handling the situation (with far more professionalism and grace than I could have mustered!) So there. Yes, the problem is still there and must be tended to, but no, it will not dictate my mood...or my eating habits!
And so I have been running around singing "Can't Nobody....Do me like Jesuuuuuus!" Because I'm goofy.....and because it's true!
amen! It is hard for us humans to remember moment by moment all the blessings God gives us moment by moment when something unexpected pops up. But you did good, you figured it out and put your focus back on God even though the situation is not resolved. That is what I am trying to do this week too.
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