Sick....sick.....sick

I have learned that a low carb diet and IBS do not mix. I have learned this the very very hard way. For the better part of two weeks I have been sick with what I call "stomach bouts". 

So, okay, low carb and IBS make me sick, while I lose weight. I feel better on a high fiber veggie diet but I don't lose weight. According to the medical powers that be I am "severely" overweight. Even moving into obese (though I've finally lost enough weight to only be on the line of that one). 

So, what's a girl to do? Research. Yet more research. Joy. I thought I graduated school a long time ago but between choosing homeschooling curricula and trying to make my family healthier I do MORE research! 

I sure hope I find a solution soon because there is no way I can homeschool from the bathroom.....

Bad Habits.....and Stress

Last week I wrote about God's provision for my family in a tight spot. If you missed it you can read it here. This week I will illustrate for you how easily we forget....

Just a few days after our Hallelujah...we're gonna eat some venison....moment, we were hit with a couple of little financial things. One is just plain old life. The other was completely unexpected and something that we're still not sure we're going to have to pay. Getting notified of these people wanting money, however, made me mad. Oh was I EVER mad! I am not easily angered and I'm not easily stressed out, but for some reason I really let this get to me. Ranting on and on about the injustice of it all and how we'll probably have to pay what they're asking and WHERE am I going to get the money for that now?! My poor husband was the recipient of quite a few text messages that day.

In addition to my anger (looking back now the level of mad was waaaay higher than it should have been) old habits crept up and bit me in the rear. All Monday morning all I did was eat...because somewhere in my twisted brain that makes life all better....I ate an entire cup of fudge swirl ice cream AND a cupcake before I left the house to run errands. It's a good thing I left because Lord knows what else I would have found to stuff in my face! This is what happens when I'm feeling..well most any strong emotion. "I'm so sad!...Let's eat!...I'm so mad!...Let's eat!....I don't know what I'm going to do!....Except eat!" I don't know where this comes from, but I have done my best to run away from the kitchen every time I feel this way. This time...I did not succeed.

As I was in the waiting room of my kids' dentist office I was stewing over that thing that I was so mad about. God very nearly hit me over the head and said, "excuse me...have you so quickly forgotten what I am capable of? I'm big enough to give you a little food, but I'm not big enough for this little problem too?" Needless to say, I was sufficiently chastised. I prayed and repented and handed it over to the Lord. But, you know, you can't just pray about it and then continue to stew about it. That's not "trusting it to God." That's pretty much just like a child showing his mother a cut, then when she says "let me put some medicine on it" he snatches it back and says "no, it'll hurt! I just wanted you to see it and know about it but I don't trust you to make it better!" So I changed my attitude. I started thinking about things that could possibly come out of my situation that could be positive, and surprisingly enough I thought of a couple! Then I decided I'd put it away and just be. I have kids to take care of and pray they have no cavities! I have better things to do than think on that all day. Also, my husband is the one handling the situation (with far more professionalism and grace than I could have mustered!) So there. Yes, the problem is still there and must be tended to, but no, it will not dictate my mood...or my eating habits!

And so I have been running around singing "Can't Nobody....Do me like Jesuuuuuus!" Because I'm goofy.....and because it's true!

God's Provision

This week I have a cool story to share. I debated on blogging about it because I usually blog about eating and weight loss but it's my blog. So I can deviate from the norm if I want to right? Right. 

A couple of weeks ago school fundraising season was in full swing. I had all these doe-eyed little faces coming to me and asking me to buy wrapping paper or candy or to help them feed the orphans. And I said "yes" every time. (Don't worry the hubby ate the candy. He can afford all those calories.) I mean how could I not?! They're all so cute! Well, I gave no mind to the amounts I was contributing or whether it would put a hole in my budget. (Those cute little faces!) It came time for me to plot out my household budget for the next couple of weeks and THAT'S when I realized....oh. Maybe I should not have been so impulsive! 

I prayed and asked God to give me the wisdom to make it work. I crunched some numbers and figured out that if we didn't have our once a week meal out for a couple of weeks AND if I cut my grocery budget back for the next couple of weeks we'd be back in the black...barely but it would work out. Thank you Lord! 

Then week two rolled around. I had been depending (in my budgeting and meal planning) on using vegetables from my CSA box that are already paid for. But the start of my CSA season has been delayed due to their losing crops to the harsh weather. Which is a risk you take when buying into a CSA. So now I have to buy vegetables. And my meat stores in the deep freezer are running low. There's no way I'm stretching the money I have to get everything I need. We may have to live on eggs and rice for a week. Okay Lord. Show me what to do. 

Suddenly I remembered a gift card my husband was given as a gift. It's a card to an out of the way local specialty meat store! We had been procrastinating using it because it was way out of our way, but now they have a location close to the hubby's work! Thank you Lord!

But He wasn't done yet. I sent my husband to work one morning armed with the gift card and instructions to bring home whatever it could buy us. He comes home that afternoon wearing a giant grin and carrying two bags. They say "Walmart" on the side. "What's all this," I ask. "Didn't you go the meat market?" "Nope," he replies. Then he tells me how so-and-so from work said he was trying to get rid of a bunch of venison to make room for when he goes hunting. Well my husband, being the nice guy he is, mentioned how we eat venison  and we could help him with that. The guy invited him to come on over after work and he'd gladly give him some. 

So there my husband stood. With bags of God's unexpected provisions. NINE meals worth. At first I thought the provision was the wisdom to budget and shop frugally. Then I thought the provision was the long forgotten gift card. But no. Each time the blessing just got better and better until there was no doubt Who it came from. Because God's cool like that. 

Extremes

I have discovered there are two kinds of recipes. They are both "OMG!" One is "OMG! That's delicious manna from Heaven please sir may I have some more?!" And then there's "OMG! What have I done to deserve this?" Very seldom does one come across a recipe that falls in the between category of "Meh."

Low carb eating is kind of that way too I find. You either do really well and have a beautiful balance of nutrition or you drive through Wendy's, order a double stack and eat only the meat and cheese. 

I find myself flying back and forth between these extremes lately. Sometimes I look at my plate and wonder when was the last time I athe something green. Other times my plate is a beautiful rainbow of veggies that I just know is going to kill my stomach later. 

And then there are the recipes. I take turns being disenchanted with all those recipes because I can't seem to find a good one and wanting to try something new because I'm so tired of cooking the same thing over and over again. 

This past week was interesting. I had one of those times when I was tired of the same old thing. Although I could eat eggs three meals a day every day, I really wanted a hot dog for lunch the other day. My usual hot dog is an all beef frank cut up and mixed with some canned chili. Sans bun. I know. Thrilling. But I didn't have any of my fancy zero filler, zero carb hot dogs. Just "kid" hot dogs. You know the ones I'm talking about. When you boil them they turn the water red. Yeah. Those. Well THOSE have 4 grams of carbs PER hot dog. 4! That's a lot for one hot dog. Not counting the chili. I refused to waste my carbs on inferior dogs. 

So this happened. I call it "huevos gringos". It was fantastic. Surprisingly fantastic. It also was about the furthest you can travel from a vegetable. I mean really. Eggs, chili and cheese. Not exactly the balanced food pyramid. I can't wait for my CSA to start. Maybe I'll regain some of my sanity and eat some veggies. 

This week I have had three small victories. The first? I exercised five times in seven days. Even when I didn't want to. I'm tired people. I hate mornings....

The second? I haven't had any sugar substitutes this week. My belly thanks me. My husband thanks me. It's a good thing....

The third? I made an ahmazing recipe. I didn't find it on some website or in a book. I DID it myself. And it is soooo good. I shall put it on the recipe tab. You shall thank me. That is if you ever gather all the fancy ingredients to make it. Maybe I'm feeling it was more fabulous than it was because I've had so many epic fails, but I ate it and it was soooo good! "Whaaaat?!" You're thinking, "what was it for the love of fish!" ...... Almond flour pancakes. Oh. Man. They were good. I sweetened it with just a touch of honey so that they could stand alone since I didn't want to use syrup. Then, I spiced them with cinnamon. Pure yum. I saved the leftovers for snacks. As a matter of fact, scuse me. All this talk has made me want one.....